And We'll Never Hide Our Love Away
by curse of ondine
Summary: After coming out to his parents, Tino is sent to a boarding school for gay and lesbian teens, one that promises to "straighten them out". Lukas is a teacher at the very same school who is struggling with his attraction to Mathias, the new vice principal. And his brother, Emil, another student, is blissfully unaware of how much his best friend loves him. SuFin, DenNor, HongIce.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: So yeah, new story, still updating the other ones, yadda yadda yadda. Not much else to say. Reviews are my crack, so don't forget to give me one!**

_"What are you trying to tell us?"_

Tino Vainamoinen was sitting with his parents in the living room, where he'd just dropped the ultimate bombshell on his family.

He hadn't come right out and said it exactly, but he didn't need to. Henrik and Elina knew the minute he finished talking what their son was telling them. Still, they clung fiercely to the quickly diminishing hope that everything was all just a big misunderstanding.

Hearing his mother's tone made Tino scared. He was sure they'd be alright with this. They'd never really talked about it, though, so it was just something he assumed. He drew a shaky breath and opened his mouth to speak.

"What I'm saying is, well, okay, here it goes. Mom and Dad, I'm gay."

There was nothing but silence.

After what seemed like an eternity to everyone in the room, Tino's mother let out a sob.

"Please don't cry, Mom. I didn't mean to upset you."

Elina rushed forward and threw both arms around her boy. "Oh, Tino, honey. This is all my fault. If I'd have noticed earlier..." She trailed off.

His father came over and put a hand on his shoulder. "We're going to help you get through this. There are ways to get rid of this sort of thing. It'll be alright."

Needless to say, that was not the reaction Tino was hoping for.

"What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with me."

"Of course there isn't. This gay thing is just a phase you're going through."

At this, Tino got slightly agitated.

"No, it isn't. And what's so bad about that?"

His parents looked at each other, their horror growing by the minute. "Well, you know," his mother said.

"Do I?"

His father spoke up. "God doesn't like gays. At all."

Henrik and Elina knew their son was not happy with them. In their minds, they saw no reason why. They offered him help, and he'd refused to accept it.

"Why don't you go upstairs? Your father and I need to talk in private."

Tino complied, never feeling so angry- or so scared.

...

"Father, what should we do?"

Father Joseph Thompson, age 71, was at the kitchen table with Elina. Henrik was at work and Tino was in school. She'd consulted the town priest on what to do about her son. He'd already gone through a few options with her, including routine prayers, support groups, and counseling. None of them sounded especially effective to her.

"Well, if you're very serious about getting Tino cured, and I can tell that you are, there's always St. Christine's."

"What's that?"

Father Thompson took a swig of his coffee. "It's a boarding school. For young people like Tino. If there's anything that can make him straight, it's that place. Here, I think I've got a pamphlet." He dug around in his briefcase until he pulled out a thin booklet with the words _St. Christine's School for the Confused Youth_ written on it in bold letters.

"They usually don't take new students after the school year has started, but the woman who runs it is a good friend of mine, so I could pull some strings for you."

Elina flipped through the pamphlet, reading the descriptions and testimonials inside. It sounded like it might work, not to mention that the school grounds were surprisingly beautiful.

"It looks like a nice place..."

"Oh, I can assure you, it is."

She pushed the pamphlet back to Father Thompson, who replied that she should keep it so Henrik and Tino could see it.

"When do we need to make a decision?"

"If you could tell me by tomorrow evening, Tino could probably be there by the end of next week."

"That isn't a very long time."

"I know. But any later than that, and I don't think I could even get him in."

"We'll consider it."

...

They'd agreed that St. Christine's would be the best place for Tino to go. They meaning Tino's parents. Tino himself had no interest in going or changing his sexual orientation at all. But he hadn't been given much of a say in what happened. So off he went, to a school on the coast of Washington that just so happened to be forty minutes away from the nearest town. Tino had a nice view of the ocean at St. Christine's, but that was the only thing he liked about the place. Not only was he in a school ran by people who were insistent on forcing him to be straight, but the building gave off a seriously creepy vibe.

This was going to be one hell of a year. And not in a good way.


	2. Chapter 2

Lukas Bondevik hated his job.

No, hated wasn't the right word. He despised it. The students, the other teachers, the fucking monotony of it all, everything. To say he was bitter when it came to teaching would be an understatement.

He hadn't wanted to teach in the first place. It was his mother who forced him into it. What he wanted was to write. He had dreams of being a bestselling novelist. How stupid of him to think that those dreams could have been reality.

And so there he was. Teaching at a school that his mother had founded after she went batshit crazy. Yes, you read that correctly. His mother was Aleksandra Bondevik, proud founder of St. Christine's School for the Confused Youth, co-author of _The Other Son: How To Prevent Homosexuality in Your Children_, and certified lunatic. It wasn't something he was especially proud of.

To make things clear, his mother wasn't always the way she is today. There was a time when she was happy, carefree, and would have been horrified at the prospect of trying to force someone to be something they were not. But time changes a person, and she was no exception to that rule. Her husband, a fisherman, had been killed in a boating accident. After that, she was... different. Lukas was twelve then, but despite that, he still didn't fully understand what was happening to his mother. She started attending church groups, and severed all ties she had to her old friends in favor of new ones, mainly the now deceased Christine White, who the school had been named after. But her behavior changed as well. She was constantly on edge, her smile grew more and more rare, and as time went on, he would learn that any sort of physical affection between him and his younger brother, Emil, was strongly discouraged.

Emil. Just thinking about him made Lukas sigh. They'd found out over the summer that Emil was bisexual. Lukas didn't really give a damn one way or the other, but of course, mommy dearest was absolutely livid. Just another thing that made his already dysfunctional family even more messed up.

Now, he was sitting at his desk, grading essays that the students had turned in today. They'd be in their other classes now. That's what he called them. The other classes. The ones where they were "taught" how to be straight. He didn't think he could bear to teach one of them, so instead, he taught English. Aleksandra was a big fan of kids getting a good education, and insisted that they had some core classes as well.

Lukas had grown sick of reading what a bunch of sixteen year olds thought about _The Great Gatsby_, and got up from his desk to go out and smoke. He walked out of the classroom and made his way outside, where he sat down on a small wooden bench. It wasn't long after he'd lit his cigarette that he heard a rather loud voice coming from behind him.

"That'll kill ya, don't you know?"

For a moment, he almost said; _Maybe I want it to._ But instead, he settled for; "I was aware of that."

The owner of the voice, a man in his early thirties with carefully spiked blond hair, sat down next to Lukas. "I'm Mathias Kohler."

"You're the new vice principal, then?"

"That's me!" His tone was cheery as hell, and it got on Lukas's nerves.

"So who are you?" Mathias asked.

"Lukas Bondevik. I teach English."

"Really? You don't look old enough to be teaching."

"I'm twenty-seven."

"I wouldn't have guessed that."

"Um... thanks?" He wasn't quite sure why this guy was still talking to him. Things were starting to get awkward, or at least for Lukas, who had never been good at having conversations.

"I've got some things that I need to do, so I should probably go back inside now," he said, dropping his cigarette to the ground and crushing it underneath his shoe.

Mathias almost looked a bit disappointed at this; though Lukas couldn't figure out why he would be. "Okay. It was nice meeting you."

"You too." Lukas murmured as he turned around and walked back to the building.

It wasn't just the awkwardness of their conversation that made him leave. There was something about Mathias, something that Lukas couldn't quite place his finger on. Even though their little chat was brief and uncomfortable, Lukas's stomach felt weird the whole time they were talking. It was almost like the so called butterflies one feels when they're in love. Could it have been that what he was feeling was...? No. He mentally scolded himself for even thinking such a thing. _That's the stupidest thought anyone has ever had. He's a guy, Lukas. You don't like guys. And if you did, mother would slaughter you._

He sighed and returned to his classroom, where there were still sixteen essays waiting to be graded.

**Author's note: I think I'm going to like writing the DenNor best of all. I don't want to spoil the story, but it will be very angsty and all that good stuff. This was kind of a boring chapter, but hopefully the next will be more interesting. Ciao for now, my lovelies!**


	3. Chapter 3

It had to have been the billionth time Leon had done this. This being waking up before his roomate and watching him sleep. God, he was such a weirdo. But, he reasoned, anyone sharing a room with Emil Stielsson would surely do the same.

At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to sleep with him, but in the most innocent way possible. He wanted to crawl underneath the covers with Emil and hold him tightly.

If you hadn't guessed it by now, Leon was completely crazy for the other boy. But he was completely sure that the feeling wasn't mutual. Of course it wasn't. How could it have been? He was nothing special, while Emil was beautiful and amazing and so damned _perfect _that it almost hurt. So he kept his feelings to himself. Leon didn't plan on ever telling him how he felt. He didn't want to make Emil uncomfortable, and besides, he was perfectly content with loving him from a distance.

Sure, he had moments where he thought he might be able to confess his love for his friend. Once, he had even learned to say 'I love you' in Icelandic, the boy's native tongue. But that confidence left as soon as it had came, and he went back to swearing that his feelings for Emil would be a secret that he'd take to his grave.

However, he was not one to sit around and mope about what would never be.

So instead, he laid in his bed, listening to the sound of rain starting to fall against the window and the love of his life murmuring incoherent nothings as he slept.

...

"Sorry! I d'dn't mean t' do that!"

Tino was kneeling down on the floor, picking up his books after some guy had bumped into him and he'd dropped everything.

"Don't worry, it's alright." Tino said to the person in question, who was now on the floor as well, helping him gather his things. It wasn't until they were standing up again that he was able to get a good look at him. It was a good thing that he didn't see him beforehand, because everything about the boy screamed 'intimidating'. He was at least a head taller than Tino, blond, and stone-faced. Needless to say, he was quite frightening.

" M' Berwald," he told Tino.

Before he could answer, Tino heard his roommate, Eduard, call his name, for which he was very grateful.

"Oh, that's my friend. He's showing me to my first class, so I'd better get going. Bye!" And with that, Tino rushed off.

"G'bye." Berwald responded, before realizing that he never learned the other boy's name.

"What was going on back there?" Eduard asked Tino when he caught up with him.

"I bumped into that guy and dropped my stuff, that's all."

Glancing around quickly to make sure nobody was eavesdropping, Eduard said, "I'm not trying to control who you hang out with or anything, but you might want to be careful around Berwald. I've heard some pretty bad stuff about him."

"Like what?" Tino questioned.

"Well," he lowered his voice, "apparently, he used to be at Westwood. That's another place where they try to make kids straight, but it's a lot worse than St. Christine's. It's pretty much a mental institution. Rumor has it that they even do electroshock treatments on the kids that get sent there. I guess he's really disturbed because of it all. "

"But isn't electroshock illegal?" Tino asked.

"Yeah, it is. But I guess they do it anyway. Have I told you about Raivis yet?"

"No."

"We're together. Secretly, of course. But my point is, he used to be there too. They did it to him."

"What, electroshock?"

Eduard nodded.

"That's awful!"

"It is. And you know-"

Tino looked around to see what had made his newfound friend go quiet, and saw that a teacher was standing a few feet away. She didn't seem to have heard their conversation, and she wasn't really paying attention to them, but scariness seemed to radiate from the woman.

"Here we go, history. Hi, Miss Arlovskaya."

The scary looking woman who had caused Eduard to stop talking simply nodded in acknowledgement, and the two boys walked into the classroom.

"She lets us pick our seats," Eduard explained as he led Tino to the spot next to his own, which was apparently empty. All eyes in the room were on the new student. Since new additions weren't normally accepted after the school year had started, the prospect of a new kid was quite thrilling, even to those who weren't especially social.

Moments after Tino had sat down, Miss Arlovskaya entered the room, causing any and all chatter that had been going on to cease immediately. Her hair was long and blond, and she was wearing a very liberal amount of eye makeup. She took roll call, and then came the moment that Tino had been dreading.

"As everyone has figured out, we've got a new student. Tino, you can introduce yourself. If you want. Or whatever." Miss Arlovskaya looked as though she already wanted class to be finished, so he politely declined her offer, and she began the lesson. But it had been too late. Everyone had noticed Tino, and they'd be talking about him.

It was the very last thing he wanted.

**I don't like the way Leon comes off in this chapter. I made him seem really emo. I'm also not a big fan of the way I ended this chapter, but I didn't have anything else to add and couldn't come up with a better ending. Wow, I'm being really critical of my writing today. Also, if anyone what wondering what the characters' ages are, here you go;**

**Berwald and Tino - 17**

**Emil- 15**

**Leon - 16**

**Lukas- 27 (I think I mentioned this in the previous chapter, but I'm putting it in anyway.)**

**Mathias - 34 (Yes, he is a male cougar. 'Cause that's how he rolls.)**

**About the electroshock thing- I read an article somewhere (Can't remember where. I think it was the CNN website though.) about this teenage boy who was gay and was sent to an institution much like the one Berwald used to be at in the story. They would force him to watch gay porn while giving him electric shocks every few minutes. The place got shut down (Thank God.), but the boy in the article was severely traumatized and nearly killed himself. The sad thing is, this happened only about two years ago. Anyway, that's where the whole electroshock idea came from. I've probably depressed the hell out of everyone now, but I felt the need to explain that bit. Bye for now, and thanks for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter is extremely short on purpose. I've been experimenting with this style of writing for a while now, so let me know how it turned out. I wasn't originally going to write this- chapter four was going to be about Lukas and Natalia/Belarus's friendship, 'cause they're besties in this. But then I thought, "Hey, wouldn't it be cool if we delved into the mind of Berwald?" So that's exactly what I did.**

**Akemi713- Leon is a popular fan name for Hong Kong.**

**Russia Tashi Lupin- Yes, you may certainly hug Berwald. (I have a feeling you won't be the only one wanting to after this.)**

**Enjoy!**

_He's adorable._

That was the first thing Berwald had thought when he saw Tino.

But of course, Tino was scared of him. Just like everyone else.

And he had practically ran away from Berwald.

Just.

Like.

Everyone.

Else.

He didn't blame the other boy. Someone had probably already told him.

About Westwood. About the shock treatments. About how "messed up" and "disturbed" and "crazy" he was. Sadly, it was what his peers knew him for. They didn't know him as Berwald, the boy who read like there was no tomorrow, or Berwald, the boy who would do anything for his younger brother, Peter. Not even as Berwald, the boy who wanted nothing more than to have a friend, just one.

They knew him as Berwald, the boy that 'you should watch out for. Who knows when he'll snap?'

He wasn't sure how much more of it he could take.

**Thanks for reading. Since this chapter was so short, I'll try to get another written fairly soon to make up for it.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry that this chapter is a day late. Our power was out for most of yesterday, meaning that I couldn't get on the internet to post this. There's not much of a plot to this one, it's really just to give you guys some info on Mathias's past. I'm also really bad at writing Sweden talk, so I apologize about that as well. Enjoy the chapter and don't forget to review.**

"Let's see who we can pair you up with..."

Tino was in Appropriate Gender Roles_, _commonly referred to as ARG. The students were split up, girls in one room; boys in the other. He wasn't sure what went on in the girls' class, but the boys were yelled at for a good twenty minutes on how they needed to 'man up', and then went off with their assigned partner to practice being macho men until the bell rang.

Currently, the teacher, Mr. Conners, was trying to find a partner for Tino.

"Alright, you're going to work with Oxenstierna over there," Mr. Conners said, pointing to a boy sitting in the back corner.

He became horrified as he realized that this was the boy he'd bumped into earlier that day.

_Calm down. Maybe you misjudged him earlier. He's probably a nice guy deep down. _He repeated these thoughts and other like it as he walked to his seat. But it didn't help. Tino was still quite frightened of Berwald, despite the fact that he knew virtually nothing about him.

Taking a deep breath, he walked to the back of the classroom, gingerly set his books on the desk next to Berwald's, and sat down.

"So..." Tino started, not knowing how to talk to the other boy. He didn't say anything back.

"Um, I don't really know what we're supposed to be doing, so you'll have to take the lead, okay?"

Berwald nodded, but once again, he didn't say anything. The two teens sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes before their teacher came over to them.

"What's wrong, girls? Why aren't you talking?" Tino couldn't help but flinch a little at the insult.

"Oh, nothing. Just not sure what to talk about, that's all."

Mr. Conners seemed to be thinking for a minute. "I've got an idea. Why don't you tell Waldo here what got you into this place?"

"Um, alright." As Mr. Conners walked away, Tino turned towards Berwald again.

"So do you want to know why I'm here? 'Cause if you don't, that's fine too. Or whatever, really. I'm fine with anything." He was starting to ramble. It was something that he often found himself doing when he was nervous.

"Ah guess that's as good as anything t' talk 'bout."

"Well, okay. It isn't that interesting of a story. I just kind of came out to my parents and then they sent me here. Not much else to add. What about you?" Tino knew what he'd heard about Berwald, but he wasn't sure how much of it was true.

He shifted in his chair a bit. Berwald didn't say anything for a while. Then finally, he uttered; "Ah used t' be at a place called Westwood. It got closed down, and then Ah was sent here."

"What was it like there? At Westwood, I mean."

"Don't want t' talk 'bout it."

"Oh. Okay."

It was silent once again.

* * *

The first thought that had entered Mathias Kohler's mind when he laid eyes on Lukas was that he was the most impossibly beautiful creature he'd ever encountered. He had never been one to believe in love at first sight, but that changed in a matter of seconds, and it was all thanks to the quiet, stunning English teacher.

The second thought was that he wasn't supposed to be thinking about other men like that. But he wasn't sure if he cared.

He'd had a few more conversations with Lukas since their first meeting on the school grounds. He didn't ever say much during them; it was mainly Mathias who did the talking. While he desperately wanted to know more about Lukas, he was content with being the one who kept the conversation going.

Mathias had taken up the position as vice principal for a number of reasons. One, he was miserable at his previous job, two, he'd recently gone through a rather messy divorce with one Renee Kohler, who was now Renee Johnson once again, and needed to get away from it all. And finally, there was the problem of his sexaulity.

He was gay, something he'd known since he was around- oh, let's see, fourteen years old. Yes, that was right. He had been fourteen when his best friend had kissed him on one of their late nights spent watching movies. Shocked, confused, and a little bit scared, he vowed that he wouldn't be his friend anymore. They never spoke to each other again.

It wasn't the kiss that had bothered him so much.

It was the fact that he'd _enjoyed _it.

His parents would have been beyond livid if they ever found out about his secret. At first, he told himself that he would come out to them once he was out of college and could support himself financially, so that if they cast him out of the family, he wouldn't need to worry about things such as money or having a place to stay.

But even when he reached that point in his life, he was too scared, and so he never spoke a word on the subject.

When he was twenty-six, he met a girl with red hair who loved rock and roll and had a strange fascination with death. She loved Mathias with a passion, and he was able to convince himself that he could love her back. For a while, he even believed that he did in fact love her, and that the whole gay thing had been a big, long phase. But deep down, he knew that it was just a lie that he lived every day.

He and the red haired girl eventually got married, and had a daughter whom they named Agnes. She was currently six years old, and had cried for what seemed like an eternity when it had been announced to her that her father would no longer be around. Mathias didn't think his heart could have broken any more than it did when he heard her sobs. He hated himself for leaving her and Renee, but he just couldn't do it anymore. Couldn't take the loneliness, telling his wife that he had to work late when in fact he was fucking some guy he'd met at one of the bars downtown. It simply became too much to bear.

So Mathias left them, saying that he was unhappy and not bothering to explain why. He wasn't going to come out and lead a new life as a gay man, but he wasn't going to pretend that he could go on being married to Renee, either.

It was simple enough; he would work at St. Christine's, an enviroment where he wouldn't be able to come out unless he wanted to lose his job, and he would continue to live his life as though he were content with being lonely.

But he wasn't so sure how easy that would be with Lukas in the picture.


	6. Chapter 6

Something which is probably worth mentioning is the relationship that Lukas had with Miss Natalia Arlovskaya, age twenty-six, born in Polatsk, Belarus. Theirs was a rather complicated... well, it was rather hard to define. One might call it a romance, but that would imply that at least one of them had feelings for the other, something which wasn't true in the slightest bit.

The best way to put it was that they were friends with benefits.

True, they were friends. Though they weren't really all that close. When they got together, it was usually to (1. Smoke, (2. Complain about their jobs, or (3. Have sex. There were occasions on which all three happened, this being one of them.

The pair were at Lukas's apartment, lying on his bed. Natalia's make-up had been smeared all over her face, making her look like a sort of demented clown. The smell of cigarette smoke hung in the air around them. They stayed like that for a while, just laying there, concentrating on their smokes, neither of them speaking. Finally, Natalia declared that she had an errand to run, and proceeded to get up, put her cigarette out, slip her panties back on, and smooth out the skirt of the dark grey dress that she hadn't actually removed.

"Can I use your sink?"

"Hmm?" Lukas had been off in his thoughts and didn't catch what she'd said.

"Your sink. I wanna wash my face."

"Oh, go ahead."

"Thanks. See you at work, I guess," she said as she walked out the bedroom door, which she closed behind her.

Lukas stayed there for a while, not doing much of anything, but the idea of laying there naked bothered him, so he re-dressed himself, and grabbed the novel sitting on his bedside table, hoping to distract his mind for a while.

Unfortunately, it didn't work. After about an hour of trying to read, he gave up, and let his thoughts wander.

Of course, he regretted this idea the minute Mathias Kohler crossed his mind, and for the seventh time that day no less.

He wasn't sure why he couldn't stop thinking about the Dane. It was really starting to get on his nerves, but at the same time, he was also concerned. Was he becoming obsessed with Mathias? He didn't think so, but why else would he feel so strangely whenever he was in the older man's presence? As obnoxious as Lukas found him to be, he secretly loved talking to him. It simply made him feel good. And every time they'd accidentally brush against each other, no matter how slight the touch was, Lukas would go hot and cold at the same time.

And then there was his constant observation of Mathias, which certainly didn't make things better. He was fascinated by things as simple as the way his hair was spiked up every day without fault, or the loud, raucous sound of his laughter. And then, there were his eyes. They were big, the brightest blue Lukas had ever seen, and they crinkled when he laughed. They were stunning.

What?

Surely he didn't really feel like that. Mathias was another man, for God's sake!

_No, no, no, no, NO! You do not think that! Snap out of this! They're just eyes, there's nothing special about them at all._

Lukas wasn't sure what he was feeling, but he did know one thing.

Whatever these new emotions were, he didn't like them one bit.

* * *

**Sorry for the short and lackluster chapter, but I noticed that I hadn't updated for a while and I wanted to get something up. Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: OH MY GOULASH. As of today, there are fifty reviews on this story. Fifty! Thank you all so much, that means a ton to me. As a reward for being so awesome, there is a sneak peak of my next story at the end of this chapter. I'm not sure when I'll be posting it, but it will be soon-ish. Once again, this chapter is short and not very interesting, but I wanted to write something from Emil's perspective. **

"Mr. Stielsson, are you paying attention?" Mr. Adams questioned.

Embarassed, Emil glanced up at the teacher from his notebook. "Y-yes, sir."

"Well, then surely you can tell me what the answer to the problem on the board is."

"Um..." He thought desperately, his brain scrambling to solve the problem before his teacher figured out that he hadn't been paying attention at all. Finally, he gave up.

"I... I don't know, sir."

Mr. Adams gave him a smug smirk. "That's what I thought." Emil lowered his head as the other students snickered at him and his face turned scarlet. He was more upset than he probably should have been, but he couldn't help it. And besides, he knew from experience that he'd most likely be over it by the end of the day. Still, the embarassment stung a little.

The period went by agonizingly slow after the small incident. Now that he was obligated to pay attention to the lesson, Emil was horribly bored.

But what he was thinking at the time was how grateful his was that Mr. Adams hadn't decided to see what he had been writing in his notebook, which would have gotten him into more trouble than he could even imagine.

He'd been writing a letter, you see. And not just any letter, oh no. Emil was writing a love letter. To another boy. Who just so happened to be his best friend. It couldn't have been anymore awful, or as the boy who the letter was being written to would have said, it was 'sucktastic'.

To Emil, there was nothing that even came close to being as knee weakening-ly gorgeous than Leon Kirkland-Wang, nor would there ever be.

He remembered the exact day they met.

It had been unusually cold, and Emil had came to their room to unpack his things. He was utterly terrified of attending the school, to the point of being physically ill. And so with shaking hands, he'd removed his clothes and the few books and CDs he had bothered to bring from his suitcases.

When he was almost finished, the door creaked open, causing Emil to let out a small shriek, not expecting someone to come in. It had turned out to be Leon, who simply laughed and apologized to his new roommate.

Over time, the two boys grew incredibly close, and he inevitably fell in love with Leon. To have avoided it would have been impossible, and after several weeks of angst over his romantic attraction to his new best friend, Emil came to the realization that his only option was to face the music and accept his feelings. It wasn't easy, of course. But falling for another boy in a homophobic enviroment was never said to be easy.

He was a little bit scared, not of how his family would react, but of possible rejection.

And so he kept his love for Leon to himself. But he didn't plan on things staying that way forever.

That's why Emil wrote the letters. He was working on a new one every week, it seemed. And every time, he thought that it was his lucky week, and that he'd finally be able to give the letter to Leon. And then, at the very last minute, he would chicken out. He always did.

But he would tell him how he felt.

_Someday._

* * *

And now, my dears, the sneak peak for my next writing project, which has not been named yet. I want to call it 'Fifty Shades of Gay', but that title has absolutely nothing do to with the story. Also, it's DenNor. (I don't think their names are used in the passge, which is why I'm saying this now.)

Anyway, here you go!

_The tangy, all too familiar taste of blood washes over his taste buds and drips from the corner of his mouth, staining the pavement. _

_They're dragging him. The rough cement is cutting into the soft, sensitive flesh of his cheek as they do. His history textbook has been torn to pieces, and the fragments of pages fall around him like snow. There was a point in his life where he would have begged them to stop, but he's grown used to this type of situation._

_And besides, his pride is too great._

_One of them kicks him in the ribs, and the pain is horrid. He isn't completely sure that all of his bones are unbroken. _

_He doesn't really see his attackers all that well, since the pouring rain combined with his blood makes it hard to do so. He likes it that way. If he can't see them, he can almost convince himself that they can't see the small, pathetic boy curled into a ball, waiting for the beating to cease._

So yeah, that's it. Hope you liked both the chapter and the little snippet of my next story, and don't forget to review!


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: I'm really sorry that it's been so long since I updated. Since the last update, I started school again, and haven't had as much time on my hands. **

**Also, I read an article not too long ago about how the state of California is trying to pass a bill that would make it illegal for parents to attempt to 'cure' their children of being homosexual, much like the things that happen in this story. I really, really hope it gets passed because the fact that things like this happen in the real world make me sick. **

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter.**

Tino didn't think it was possible to be as grateful for the arrival of Friday as he was then. His week had been especially difficult, filled with days spent being repeatedly told how 'wrong' and 'sinful' he was, not to mention the troubles of being in a new school and getting lost several times a day.

However, the stress wasn't over just yet. Each student was assigned to what was referred to as a meeting group. All of the teachers had to lead one. At the end of the week, the groups would all gather in one of the classrooms to share their so-called progress. Tino's group was even more uncomfortable to be in because it was led by Miss Bondevik herself, and nobody wanted to be in the meeting group led by the very founder and principal of the whole damn school.

And to make things even worse, Berwald, the intimidating boy from earlier, was also in his group. And Berwald just so happened to sit next to him. It was almost as though the universe was intentionally trying to make Tino as uncomfortable as it possibly could.

On that particular day, Miss Bondevik had walked into the room briskly and announced that for that day's meeting, they were going to do something different. She wanted them all to tell the story of 'what lead them down the evil path of homosexuality.' Tino had to repress a snicker there- was this woman for real?

And so they went around the room, each student giving their 'reason' for liking the same sex, some of which Tino actually found interesting. A girl named Mei had went to an all-female boarding school and started dating girls due to the prominent lack of boys; a boy named Roderich had fallen in love with one of his cabinmates at band camp.

After a while of sharing, it was Berwald's turn. Tino was quite curious as to what the boy would say, and he listened very closely. However, his he said nothing at all.

"Berwald? Aren't you going to tell everyone else why you're here?" Miss Bondevik asked after a few incredibly awkward moments of silence.

"Ah don't wanna talk 'bout it."

"Sweetie, you have to."

"Ah won't."

"Please?"

"No."

Miss Bondevik's bright and obviously fake smile turned into a frown, and her tone grew considerably less cheery. "Fine. If you refuse to tell, then I'll just read what it says in you file." She briefly looked through the neat stack of folders on the desk before pulling one out and opening it. Pushing her glasses up, she read loudly and clearly.

"Berwald Oxenstierna, age seventeen. Was molested repeatedly from ages nine to eleven, leading to sexual confusion later on in life. Correct?"

Oh God. Tino suddenly felt horrible about some of his thoughts on his classmate. Maybe he scared people away because he was afraid of being hurt. Why, why, why hadn't he thought of that before? Not only that, he was also angry at Miss Bondevik, who sat there with a self-satisfied smirk. What gave her the right to just share something like that in front of fifteen other people? He couldn't recall being so disgusted with someone in his entire life.

He glanced over at Berwald, whose had hung his head low and was staring at his hands, which were folded in his lap. He may have been tall and stoic, but to Tino, he looked absolutely helpless. Finally, he stuttered out a quiet, "Yes, m'am."

"Very well. Tino, it's you turn."

The Finn stood up cautiously, glancing around at the faces that surrounded him. He'd planned out an elaborate, scandalous, and completely fictional account of why he was there, but in light of what had just happened, he didn't think it was a good idea to tell the story.

"There isn't really any special reason why I'm gay. I kinda just am"

Once again, Miss Bondevik did not look pleased. "Of course there's a reason."

"Well, okay, yeah, you're right. The reason I like other boys instead of girls is because that's how I was born, and I don't really see why I should change that."

"You aren't funny, Tino."

"I'm not trying to be." All eyes were on him now, shocked that somebody had the gall to stand up to Miss Bondevik. Honestly, Tino himself was even surprised. He'd never been at all what one would call a rebel.

"Then what _are _you trying to do?"

"Nothing, really. I'm just saying that sometimes you can end up really messing somebody up because the way you're trying to supposedly help them is really messed up. " What on earth was he trying to accomplish? This had to be one of the stupidest things he'd ever done. Oh well. It was too late to turn back now.

"Well," Miss Bondevik said, looking at her watch, "it's time for today's session to end. I will see you all again next week. Tino, I want you to come talk to me in my office."

He sighed ruefully and gathered his things.

**I'll try to update this soon, but chapters will come a bit slower than normal with school going on and everything. They don't get together for quite a while, but there's a DenNor moment coming up in roughly five chapters, and I'm ridiculously excited about writing it. I'd tell you more, but I wouldn't want to spoil the story for you guys. **

**Don't forget to review, and as always, thank you for reading! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note: I'm really sorry about the slow update! It's been almost a month, 'cause school has been eating me alive. This chapter is pretty short, but it's important. Also, to the reviewer who asked (I'm too tired to see what the username is right now.)- Arthur does make a brief appearance, but it's not until a later chapter. Hope that answers your question.**

Why?

Why did she have to go and tell them? Was it to punish him? Had she wanted to humiliate him in front of the entire class?

Even if she hadn't meant to, she was successful nonetheless. In the weeks that followed the event, Berwald might as well have been a monster. He saw the way they looked at him, heard the whispers they exchanged, and the way they all skirted around him, as though he could snap and kill them all whenever he liked.

He couldn't understand what was so bad about not wanting to discuss The Incident in front of everyone. Because he knew what would happen if he did. He'd be labeled as an even bigger freak, and things would just get worse for him. It was exactly why he never spoke about it. Not to his parents, not to the psychologist they'd tried sending him to, not even to himself.

* * *

_Every time they finished playing one of their 'games', he'd stroke the boy's silky blond hair and tell him that he loved him over and over again. During the few times that Berwald forces himself to replay The Incident in his head, he always thinks that he probably did, in his own sick, twisted sort of way._

_It's why he could never trust anyone. _

_Even if they acted like they cared, in the end, they all just wanted to use him or hurt him. Every single one of them._

_After it was all over- when the man behind The Incident (His own uncle, to be precise.) had been locked away in prison and he had gone back to school- that was when he changed. He became ever quieter than he had been before, interacted with the other children his age as little as possible, and had a look of fear in his eyes whenever someone would touch him, be it accidental or not. _

_His mother and father knew that something was wrong, but they had no idea what to do. He wouldn't talk to the shrink they had paid for, and any other solutions they tried failed. Not seeing any other way out, they let their son continue to spiral down, down, and down..._

_The night he came out to his parents is still fresh in his mind._

_They were all sitting on the porch together, and Berwald had told them he had something to say. _

_"Well, go on with it," his father had said just before he took the last swig of beer from the bottle he'd been drinking out of. _

_"Ah..." **Come on, it's two words, just say it! **"I'm... g-gay."_

_For a moment, there was pure silence. _

_"What?" His mother asked._

_"Ah said that I'm gay."_

_There had been screaming and crying and kicking and hitting and bits of broken glass scattered everywhere by the time the night was done, and it was all thanks to one sentence. Those two simple words that had taken him years to get the courage to say had ruined his life in a matter of seconds._

* * *

He was shocked when Tino sat across from him at lunch the next day. The petite boy plopped down into the spot, gave Berwald a cheerful greeting and began chatting away about something or another. What Berwald doesn't understand was why he was doing it. Why was he bothering to sit with him? Did somebody put him up to it? That was most likely the right answer, but at the same time, he couldn't shake the feeling that Tino truely, genuinely wanted to be his friend.

He hoped that he did.

**And we're getting closer to SuFin! Reviews make me very happy, so don't forget to leave one. As always, thank you for reading!~**


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